Today went well, I was busy at work I helped cover for another one of the assistants who had to take the day off. Got stuck in traffic on the way home, but then I made myself a nice chicken pasta dinner. Afterward I spent time with Autumn and then worked more on the walls of the house. Got quite a few holes filled in more.
After I worked on the walls, Justin came home and then I did my meditation and that went well. It was very relaxing and refreshing. I am excited for the weekend. It should be good, doing stuff around the house and such. Other than that no particular plans, I would like to go take photos sometime this weekend too, preferably at a park. That's about it for now.
Always.
Jenn
Thursday, May 28, 2015
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
Day 4
So I know I didn't post yesterday. I have had quite a lot happen personally that made me pull time away from this at least for a day so that I could regroup and find out what I'm doing. The short answer for all that is that I have been rather short-sighted lately and only looking for my own benefits and it has hurt my relationships, most notably with my boyfriend. That was both very grounding and terrifying because I thought that I had ruined things beyond the point of repair. As such I needed time to myself to process and realize that it is not that far gone. My anxiety merely put me in extreme overdrive and made my already dramatic tendencies worse because of course it is the end of the world.
Now that I have had some time to act, I realize this isn't true. And while things were bad, I am finally at a point where I can take control and find balance. I realize that while I need to make sure I take care of myself, my boyfriend does not self-care in the way that I do. Nor does it communicate the same way. I tend to talk things to death, hence my writing, whereas for him it has always been that actions speak louder. I have never had that before with anyone I know. As such I am not used to just doing things, especially if I fear that I will mess them up somehow. Instead I have learned to stay out of the way, but in my relationship with him that does not work. I need to act, and even with my anxiety screaming at me sometimes, I have managed to quiet the voice down. So it is a start.
I have continued with my meditations, I am on Day 5 with that, so progress is good. It is helping me personally I can tell by bringing about a calm that I did not know I had. Other than that things are going well, work seems to be getting better. I have a fully registered car that the taxes have been paid on. And I am getting all my various doctors settled. So things here are good, they are definitely looking more positive each and every day. I can only hope it continues.
Always.
Jenn
Now that I have had some time to act, I realize this isn't true. And while things were bad, I am finally at a point where I can take control and find balance. I realize that while I need to make sure I take care of myself, my boyfriend does not self-care in the way that I do. Nor does it communicate the same way. I tend to talk things to death, hence my writing, whereas for him it has always been that actions speak louder. I have never had that before with anyone I know. As such I am not used to just doing things, especially if I fear that I will mess them up somehow. Instead I have learned to stay out of the way, but in my relationship with him that does not work. I need to act, and even with my anxiety screaming at me sometimes, I have managed to quiet the voice down. So it is a start.
I have continued with my meditations, I am on Day 5 with that, so progress is good. It is helping me personally I can tell by bringing about a calm that I did not know I had. Other than that things are going well, work seems to be getting better. I have a fully registered car that the taxes have been paid on. And I am getting all my various doctors settled. So things here are good, they are definitely looking more positive each and every day. I can only hope it continues.
Always.
Jenn
Monday, May 25, 2015
Day 3
Okay so I meditated yesterday, it went nicely. Today I attempted it but am having problems from the website that I've been learning on via videos. So I guess I'll just skip that for tonight. As for the lack of posting happening on here. Well I got involved with having a life basically. Yesterday I spent cleaning the house, we had people over in the evening and I wanted to make sure that the house looked as least okay. After cleaning for the day it did turn out well. It was nice, and having everyone over was definitely refreshing and cheered me up to have friends over.
As for everything else, well still need to figure out the car registration and all. Have to look and see if I can find cheaper car insurance. Need to get a release for some medical records, what with moving I figured that I should probably get on top of the doctor situation before I get ill. I'm also looking to join a gym, figured I should make fitness a priority as well. That one is my least favorite thing. Although I know plenty of people who feel similarly and I just need to get off my butt. At least with writing and meditation I am being more "active" even if it is mostly mental stimulation, it's better than where I was.
The boyfriend is around, should be home sometime soon. I'm sure he's tired after his float trip today. I decided not to go, due to being up late with friends and just overall tiredness. I knew I could not enjoy a really long day outside today. I am trying to get better about that as well, but as a child with very limited outdoor experiences, I tend to get uncomfortable in the heat.
Other than that I am in the process of planning other activities, both to make more friends and to keep my relationship going strong with Justin.
Always.
Jenn
As for everything else, well still need to figure out the car registration and all. Have to look and see if I can find cheaper car insurance. Need to get a release for some medical records, what with moving I figured that I should probably get on top of the doctor situation before I get ill. I'm also looking to join a gym, figured I should make fitness a priority as well. That one is my least favorite thing. Although I know plenty of people who feel similarly and I just need to get off my butt. At least with writing and meditation I am being more "active" even if it is mostly mental stimulation, it's better than where I was.
The boyfriend is around, should be home sometime soon. I'm sure he's tired after his float trip today. I decided not to go, due to being up late with friends and just overall tiredness. I knew I could not enjoy a really long day outside today. I am trying to get better about that as well, but as a child with very limited outdoor experiences, I tend to get uncomfortable in the heat.
Other than that I am in the process of planning other activities, both to make more friends and to keep my relationship going strong with Justin.
Always.
Jenn
Thursday, May 21, 2015
Day 2
Okay so things today weren't so good at work. Typical problems that are not my fault but I'm expected to somehow fix them. Overall it wasn't terrible or anything, just frustrating because the problems weren't even real things by my standards, it wasn't anything we could fix. But I tried anyways, and surprise surprise there was nothing we could do. So after wasting at least two hours on that, it was back to the regular day to day stuff. Got to leave early since I was covering for the receptionist and came in earlier, that was nice. Then found out the plans I was supposed to have got canceled at the last second, due to traffic and not having enough time.
So after all that I was disappointed because I was thoroughly looking forward to it, hence my going to work early in the first place. Oh well. I played some video games to help cheer myself up after chores, still kind of blah, but looking at my list and thinking I'll take something off it tonight if I can, by accomplishing it, not just deleting it, ha.
For now though I need to do day 3 of meditating first before anything else. I will do that, and keep my promise about it, even if I'm not feeling up to it. As for dinner, I'm not hungry, so it isn't gonna happen.
Anyways, hope your days were better!
So after all that I was disappointed because I was thoroughly looking forward to it, hence my going to work early in the first place. Oh well. I played some video games to help cheer myself up after chores, still kind of blah, but looking at my list and thinking I'll take something off it tonight if I can, by accomplishing it, not just deleting it, ha.
For now though I need to do day 3 of meditating first before anything else. I will do that, and keep my promise about it, even if I'm not feeling up to it. As for dinner, I'm not hungry, so it isn't gonna happen.
Anyways, hope your days were better!
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
Day 1
So once again I am diving into the idea of recording my thoughts and ideas down somewhere instead of keeping them in my mind. We'll see how this turns out.
For now I'm in the process of making various to-do and goal lists to help myself grow as a person. I think it will be highly beneficial to me. Next step is being this proactive at work. But for now I will just make sure I do the best job I can there.
I've started meditating every day in the evenings, it's rather relaxing and so far I really enjoy it. Granted I've only done it twice so far. But that is better than nothing. I figure once my ankle feels better I will start doing yoga on a daily basis as well. I rolled it on Tuesday while going down the exterior stairs to the basement to do laundry. I'm so coordinated.
Anyway I think that's it for now. But I am excited by these new beginnings.
For now I'm in the process of making various to-do and goal lists to help myself grow as a person. I think it will be highly beneficial to me. Next step is being this proactive at work. But for now I will just make sure I do the best job I can there.
I've started meditating every day in the evenings, it's rather relaxing and so far I really enjoy it. Granted I've only done it twice so far. But that is better than nothing. I figure once my ankle feels better I will start doing yoga on a daily basis as well. I rolled it on Tuesday while going down the exterior stairs to the basement to do laundry. I'm so coordinated.
Anyway I think that's it for now. But I am excited by these new beginnings.
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